the big thing…. I overheard her husband Chris use racial slur, and the ‘n’ word. He then used the ‘f’ word and shouted at my baby. That was the last straw for me.

This setting is NOT ideal for younger babies. This is because Marianne is a very stubborn lady who doesn’t respect a mother’s wishes or medical advice from the NHS that a mother is following.

Our disagreement was about me wanting to follow the NHS guidelines on weaning from 6 months, by giving the infant the same amount of breastmilk and adding semi-solids as complementary. But Marianne wanted to substitute his breastmilk with semi-solids. Simply because it is faster for her! She wants to stuff an infant’s belly with solids in 10minutes, make him sleep for hours so she can do other things. Not caring about the nutrition, immunity and growth of the child. I had to repeat myself on several occasions, send screenshots from the NHS about nutrients during weaning, and finally wrote an email before she reluctantly adhered to my instructions on prioritising breastmilk over semi-solids. Only for her to revert back in a few weeks! She has convinced herself and tried to convince me that breastmilk is ‘just like water, too thin, won’t fill him up, won’t let him sleep’.

I informed her of everything she might find challenging (like him feeding often and taking longer if distracted) and I was open to ways to help make things easier (such as providing self-feeding bottle, fruit soothers, etc). she said she could handle things, but what she was expecting was that she could ’train’ the infant to fall into her own schedule and convenience. She expects all babies to act and react the same way to her ‘training’, no matter their age, gender, metabolism or personality. I did all I could to make things easier for her except compromise on my baby’s nutrient and safety.

She agrees to do some things, then stops, but when reminded, she says it’s ‘fault finding’. She does not understand that an infant needs what he needs, and parents/caregivers can’t just stop providing them just because they don’t feel like it! Why accept to do something only to stop doing it?!

Asking her to clean surfaces in public restrooms before changing my baby was ’too demanding’! My baby wiggles a lot and is at the stage of touching, mouthing and licking everything, including walls! Marianne and Chris’s thoughts on this?… I’m smothering him, he’s going to be weak, and all sorts of rubbish! A mother being cautious of hygiene, post covid19 global pandemic is what they class as smothering. It’s shocking what they don’t consider and then have issues with when you request them. Funny how they feel being childminders automatically means they know better than the parents and NHS combined! Even though they are not yet parents themselves.

There was nothing wrong in her just accepting and admitting that she wasn’t suited to take care of a younger baby and I would understand and we could have parted ways nicely. But instead her and chris went on saying all sorts about me, using racial slurs, etc. because she feels embarrassed and thinks it makes her look incompetent. Also because it’s a full time space and the largest chunk of their income, I guess.

Disagreements are normal and talking crap about people is not shocking. What is shocking are the racist slurs and shouting at an 8 months old baby. Using words like that in front of a 1 and 2 year olds is shocking! Although according to them, one of the kids ‘will never talk and will be a slow learner’. Can you imagine childminders saying that about your kid, in front of them?! Horrible!

I will however say that Marianne told chris off immediately when he swore and shouted at my baby. But she was okay with the racial slurs.

I have evidence for all these as I needed to be sure my baby was well taken care off after we agreed to end the contract. And boy am I glad I did! Feel free to contact me for more details.

If Chris is not in the setting, the place will be good for older kids who do not require as much flexibility, attention or care. Chris should NOT be allowed to childmind, so I will be reporting him to the council and offsted.

• Overall
• Setting
• Cleanliness
• Communication